Sarah Jessica Parker "Lovely"

I am not a "Sex & the City" fan. I'm just not. The characters all make me itch, and I could not imagine a worse afternoon than one spent in their company. But given their omnipresence in the media during the past few years, I'd have to be blind and deaf not to know a little about each one of them. And so, if this perfume were to suit any one of those women, it would be Charlotte's.

"Lovely" is the first perfume that I've tested and totally forgotten about. It's just there. A perfectly serviceable white floral, understated to the point of being invisible. There's no pollen harshness, just a touch of throatiness and a hint of stem. And that's it. Not exactly bland, but certainly not exciting, "Lovely" is inoffensive, unmemorable, and generally a thesaurus's worth of other words that essentially can be summed up with the noise "ehhh" and that wobbly-hand movement that indicates you could go either way.

Verdict: Wouldn't go so far as "lovely", but does earn itself a "nice".

Yves Saint Laurent "Paris"

Unlike other powdery perfumes, which just remind me of grandmothers in general, this one pegs a particular sort of grandmother. The sweet baby powder scent is certainly there, as is the lacing of icing sugar, which is proving to be a hugely popular combination, and at first I thought I'd just set myself up for disappointment all over again.

But then a second line emerged -- a greenhouse. Like in "My Fair Lady", when Eliza is sitting in the Winter Garden, this has a humid, earthy, flowery note to it. It's generally overwhelmed by the sugar-powder, but does diversify the scent and make it a more complex fragrance overall. Not what I'd call a youthful perfume, and perhaps a little dated, but genteel and interesting.

Verdict: Tea in a plant-filled conservatory with your great-aunt.