Ormonde Jayne "Ta'if"

First, an apology.

My dear fellow passengers on the top deck: I am so, so sorry. I only darted into Selfridge's briefly after dinner. But then the perfume lady zapped me with "Vera Wang" before handing me a sample of the Men's version. And then another lady hit me with Stella McCartney's "Stella". And then I put Serge Lutens "Blond" on voluntarily (mistake) and then scored my second sample by allowing myself to get spritzed with "Burberry Weekend". But the truly appalling final act was mine, oh buspeople. Because I was the idiot who, completely of my own volition, picked up a tester of "Angel" and put it on the back of my Vera Wang'd right wrist.

Why I didn't realise that this is like putting a sleeping fairy and a soaked gremlin in a small room and then walking away, I don't know. Because the VW slumbered on prettily until the Angel crawled right around my wrist, smothered it, and then began an attempt on the life of the man sitting next to me. I tried to muffle the Angel against my jeans, but it only came back stronger. And you buspeople were very nice not to chide me publicly for smelling like a chemical weapon of mass destruction, though I suspect it was because some of you saw the samples in my hand and feared Angelic retribution. So... sorry.

Love, Lizzie


That done with, it's "Ta'if" time. Honestly, this was repellant first on -- horrible and musty and evil. It took a good 15 minutes for it to die down a bit, at which point the mustiness settled into a very heavy, dry spiciness mixed with roses and other flowers. It made me think of clouds and dusk, something muddled and swirling and dense, but at the same time not strong. And then at the end my old nemesis powder made an understated cameo. There was something alluring about "Ta'if", sly and slightly unpredictable, which I found attractive. I'm just unsure that I can ride out the musty opening and the powdery finish enough to enjoy it.

Verdict: Subtle and smoky at the same time, it's nice at the midpoint, but the start and finishing notes are killing me. (Though not as badly as "Angel", frankly -- I may never run this one as a true test, I feel ill.)